writes 4 free | sober for a reason…

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Sober cool guys are the minority in a world where drinking and doing drugs are par for the course. This was my life. I loved to get drunk and high it was the only way for me to live. I could not have an interesting or halfway decent conversation unless I had my buzz on. It still looks good and is at times appealing to me. I look at this poor guy nodding away at life and think maybe he’s got it all figured out – maybe I am the one torturing myself. I have been sober about 4 years and it is still a struggle on my best days. We have all seen the commercials and advertisements. I still wake up many days and think “Maybe I will take up smoking cigarettes again today.” It’s just a thought in passing but for some reason I still think it looks cool.

It is 1AM in BK and it could be 1AM anywhere. Some days suck and I would like to get trashed and go hang around a bar with couriers. Not the bike riding kind, the ones that wear the green jumpsuits. I had just run all over the city following a girl, that in all probability has just about as much problems as I do – but “I love a woman that rains.” Good Ryan Adams song if you didn’t know by the way. So, what do I do the rest of the night? I could go home eat ice cream and crash or find some crack and a bottle of Georgi Vodka, which was my favorite. I was what you call a low bottom drunk. I thought it was exciting to jump out of windows and run from people that were not even chasing me. Ha! I know, it’s bizarre but I once woke up out of a black out, driving a car in Jersey, and did not even know the people I was with. I actually think we all woke up out of a black out at the same time which is even funnier. I have to remember though I am lucky and still pretty damn cool without the drugs and booze. This guy on the platform made me stop for a moment and remember a quote I once read: “I have lived my pain my life can tell; I only deepen the wound of the world when I neglect to give thanks, the good things g-d gives.”

-RB (writes4free)