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This artifact is a six year-old child’s homework- he was learning to write back in 12th Century Russia, wrote out these exercises on tree bark when he got bored and created these fine doodles.

Photos by (& of) PROMISE SMITH!

Check This OUT!

-Originally appeared in Amazing.

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QUAMP TUES / MIND SCRAPER #10

(PILLOWSPEAK 2 )
(THE LONG DISTANCE CALL AFTER THE ONE NIGHT STAND)

I LIKE WOMEN
, I DON’T CARE WHERE YA’ FROM , I’M A MAN, AND I LIKE
WOMEN , YOUR BEING FROM MIAMI AIN’T GOT A GODDAMN
THANG TA’ DO WITH IT , I LIKE YOU FOR YOU, (IF YOU ARE
LIKEABLE) BUT , IÏ YOU AIN’T. DON’T TRY TO HIDE YOUR
UGLYNESS BEHIND WHERE YOUR FROM , DON’T PUT YOUR
UNCOMPATABILITIES ON A PEDISTAL , AND HIDE THEM BEHIND
WHERE YOUR FROM , IT’S ABOUT WHERE YOUR GOING , (YA’
KNOW??)LIKE I’M NOT SUPPOSED TP LIKE OTHER PEOPLE FROM
THERE , BECAUSE YOUR A FUCKED UP INDERVISUAL , SO
FORGET IT , THAT SOME SELFISH SHIT .

I WOULDN’T CUSS YOU OUT IF I
WAS IN MIAMI?? SHIT , IF YOUR SUPPOSED TO GET CUSSED
OUT , YOU WILL GET CUSSED OUT EVEN IF YOUR SITTING IN
YOUR FATHERS LAP , WITH FOOTSIES ON , AMD A SHITTY
PAMPER .

BUT YOU KNOW ,
IF I WAS IN MIAMI , I’D CUSS OUT THE REASON THAT YOUR
“OFF BALANCE” (I WON’T CALL IT SPOILED , I’LL CALL IT
“OFF BALENCE”)I’D CUSS OUT MR.PEG LEG BATES , FOR
FEELING THAT BECAUSE HE WAS THE FIRST BALCKMAN TO GET
A PERMIT TO OWN AND DRIVE A “BUS” , IN FLORIDA ,THAT
IT WAAS COOL TO DO SO WITH A OUIJI BOARD IN THE BACK
OF IT , AND (IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT THE MACHANICS
OF A MOVING VECHICLE IS NOT EQUIPED TO HOLD THE
UNSTABLE FUMES OF THE MYSTICALLY CONFUSED ) AND THE
FOOL ATTEMPED TO DO “COMPASS WHORSHIP” WHILE DRIVING ,
THUS PROVOKEING THE K.K.K. TO TO X- AMOUNT OF “EUREKA”
WASHING MACHINE COMMERCIALS , TO THE THEME OF A
BACKWARDS BUSRIDE WHEREMANY A FOLK DIED , WHILE HE
TRYED TO GO TO THE FUTURE , AND STEAL IT , LIKE A
ANTI-BUCK RODGERS STAR, AND BRING IT TO A TIME WHERE
NEITHER YOU OR I WERE BORN YET , AND PUT IT ON A
PEDISTAL AGINST ITSELF , CALLED MIAMI WORLD , , LIKE
YOUR TRAINED TO DO MUTANY WHORSHIP,ON A WORLDWIDE
BASIS , BUT , IN SPITE OF THAT I AIN’T MAD AT YOU
CAUSE EVEN HE , MIGHT HAVE GOT THE INCOURAGEMENT AND
IDEA FROM SOMEBODY ELSE , SOMEWHERE , SOMEBODY HAS TO
STOP THE CYCLE OR ALL TIME AND SPACE WILL BE A DEAD
WRINGER , AND WE HAVE A RIGHT TO MAKE BABIES THAT ARE
EXEMPT OF SUCH EVILS AND LIVE , EVEN WITHOUT US , AM
I WRONG?