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Tuesday, May 19, 2009 at 9:22 AM
1. 1968 or 1981?
’68
2. Why don’t you live in LA?
Sometimes I just don’t know
3. What do your parents think you do for a living?
They think I’m famous
4. What’s in your pockets right now?
matches
5. Have you ever been to Staten Island?
I went to a rave in staten island in 1994 right in the middle of Shaolin. these dudes closed the party down and were charging every white kid $5 to leave and go home.
6.  If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
“namaste”
7. If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
myself, like plax.
8. So you’re on a hott date, where you going?
huh?
9. If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
ManChild.
10. Who’s better looking Mayor Dinkins or President Obama?
‘Bama
11. So you’re on a desert island, what now?
Nothing!
12. Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
I’m definitely not
13. The new Mickey Rourke, yea or neh?
That’s a really hard one. hmmmmmm….
14. Does the pressure to impress cause you to clam up– or do you have everyone at hello?
I hate this
15. Have you ever taken Peyote?
yes
16. Are you able to lift a 50-pound weight and carry it 100 yards?
I don’t know. Are you?
17. Have you ever been arrested?
yes.
18. Where were you before you were born?
The Holy Land.
19. Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor – patient, teacher – student?
I like artist-assistant
20. Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for?
No
21. What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
Like a skater hippy raver on acid.
22. You meet by chance a girl friend of mine at the disco. She is very happy and she is flirting with you. What are you doing?
Disco… aaaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
23. If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
Like John Travolta
24. What’s your favorite color?
I don’t have one.
25. Why do people like the band Vampire Weekend?
Who’s Vampire Weekend
26 Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
In Sata Fe.
27 If you were stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would you want it to be? Why?
A beautiful woman. Just beacause.
28 Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
West st.
29 In ten years I will…(complete the sentence)
be 40…
30 If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Greece
31 What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
I don’t know
32 What’s your standard exercise routine?
Run 3.5 miles every other day.
33 Last time you said “that was the last time?”
2 weeks ago.
34 Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
The Met
35If you could live in any movie “world,” what movie would it be?
Baron Munchausen
36 Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day?
Mott St.
37 Best/worst thing you have done in a movie theater?
Don’t know.
38 First career plans/goals as a child?
Artist or Drummer
39 Why can’t you survive anywhere but NYC?
I can
40 Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
Desmond Dekker “Israelites” or the Happy Mondays
41 Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
Bob Fosse
42 If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
I already have talent and skill.
43 What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
I went to art school. No one did their homework.
44 If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Acai
45 Next thing you want to achieve in your life?
Some peace of mind
46. In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
I was none of those. Please refer to question 21.
47. If you could “punk” any celebrity, who would it be?
Alain Delon
48. what is aNYting to NYC?
It’s anything you want it to be
49. first time you saw aNYthing I felt?
Home
50. your title at the aNYthing company
The Grey Cardinal
Saturday, May 16, 2009 at 6:17 PM
1. 1968 or 1981?
81
2. Why don’t you live in LA?
i still consider santa monica LA. but, its just too hip for me.
3. What do your parents think you do for a living?
what i do i guess.
4. What’s in your pockets right now?
the pocketing in my jeans are gone due to washing it inside out.
5. Have you ever been to Staten Island?
no? wait? have i? is that the beach you took us to?
6.  If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
im be nice
7. If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
someone that didnt understand
8. So you’re on a hott date, where you going?
massaging
9. If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
blue
10. Who’s better looking Mayor Dinkins or President Obama?
obama
11. So you’re on a desert island, what now?
look for the surf
12. Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
cause you asked
13. The new Mickey Rourke, yea or neh?
maybe? if he wasnt so “check me out”
14. Does the pressure to impress cause you to clam up– or do you have everyone at hello?
i think at hello?
15. Have you ever taken Peyote?
no way jose
16. Are you able to lift a 50-pound weight and carry it 100 yards?
i think?
17. Have you ever been arrested?
hmm? no.
18. Where were you before you were born?
does that happen?
19. Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor – patient, teacher – student?
sounds like i love them all
20. Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for?
smuggling drugs?
21. What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
budgeteers plastics
22. You meet by chance a girl friend of mine at the disco. She is very happy and she is flirting with you. What are you doing?
in shock
23. If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
new aged out
24. What’s your favorite color?
tough one…Â blue?
25. Why do people like the band Vampire Weekend?
whats that?
26. Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
so negative
27. If you were stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would you want it to be? Why?
the Man vs. Wild character
28. Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
i dont know NY that well. so?… anywhere they serve good food & DRINK (in the morning)
29. In ten years I will…(complete the sentence)
be older
30. If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
bali
31. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
health
32. What’s your standard exercise routine?
stretch, surf then try to cycle for my errands
ha
33. Last time you said “that was the last time?”
a few hours ago
34. Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
i dont know NYC that well
35.If you could live in any movie “world,” what movie would it be?
next
36. Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day?
in front of the pub
37. Best/worst thing you have done in a movie theater?
walk out
38. First career plans/goals as a child?
pilot
39. Why can’t you survive anywhere but NYC?
whats with the NYC questions. youre not going to start asking about the weather, are you?
40. Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
E2E4
41. Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
42. If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
to illustrate
43. What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
we didnt have any homework
44. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be
sea vegetables. google says its the most nutritious
45. Next thing you want to achieve in your life?
catch up.
46. In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
out of the choices i would fit into “punk”
47. If you could “punk” any celebrity, who would it be?
you
Monday, May 4, 2009 at 10:06 PM
Dean Spunt of NO AGE
1. 1968 or 1981?
81 for sure. hardcore slaying and skating emerges.
2. Why don’t you live in LA?
i do, what kind of question is that?
3. What do your parents think you do for a living?
they know.
4. What’s in your pockets right now?
musicians ear plugs, practice space keys and whole foods receipt.
5. Have you ever been to Staten Island?
i’ve been to satan island and it isn’t that hot.
6.  If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
“c30 c60 c90 GO!”
7. If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
a mime
8. So you’re on a hott date, where you going?
i always take my girl to San Louis Obispo.
9. If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
Barack
10. Who’s better looking Mayor Dinkins or President Obama?
woah weird, Dinkins who?
11. So you’re on a desert island, what now?
start drinking coconuts, or find John Lock ASAP.
12. Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
nobody is as qualified, for days.
13. The new Mickey Rourke, yea or neh?
so crazy, so gnarly but i like it.
15. Have you ever taken Peyote?
make that shit a smoothie, and ill go to town.
16. Are you able to lift a 50-pound weight and carry it 100 yards?
hell yeah, my drums are made of steel too.
17. Have you ever been arrested?
yeah twice, for the same thing in the span of two days… two dark days.
18. Where were you before you were born?
womb town USA, take me back.
19. Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor – patient, teacher – student?
that is some heavy shit if you wanna talk about it, i mean for real.
20. Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for?
you can make dynamite out of brick, or add water to the chipping and dye your shirt.
21. What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
tenth grade i stopped looking like a skater to dress like a punk. shaved head, boots, tight pants, homemade S.O.A. patch, the whole deal.
23. If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
alien vagina’s
24. What’s your favorite color?
grey
25. Why do people like the band Vampire Weekend?
i dunno, saw ‘em live once, not that interesting.
26. Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
Cabazon. Maybe the dinosaurs will come to life and fuck jesus up.
28 Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
The elevator at John Roche’s, it smells like dead rat.
29. In ten years I will…(complete the sentence)
think my laptop looks “clunky”
30. If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
New Zealand and go record hunting.
31. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
i can cook some epic food.
32. What’s your standard exercise routine?
some jogging here and there, loading equipment, playing drums and singing.
33. Last time you said “that was the last time?”
about a minute ago.
34. Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
New Jersey.
35. If you could live in any movie “world,” what movie would it be?
truman show for sure.
36. Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day?
Avi’s house, reading old magazines.
37. Best/worst thing you have done in a movie theater?
best is never pay for popcorn, worst is use my cel phone, but i mean really… sometimes you need to answer it.
38 First career plans/goals as a child
i always avoided that question, i just wanted to live life, i never knew until i started playing music.
39. Why can’t you survive anywhere but NYC?
40. Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
anything by the Go-Betweens from the first 5 years.
41. Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
a combination of Bob Mould, Paul McCarthy, Kevin Shields and Gee Vaucher. Like a futuristic movie, they could all be morphed together
42. If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
prosthetic limbs
43. What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
my dog ate it, and i brought it in with fake dog bite marks in it, she knew.
44. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
brown rice (if i had some kale, it’s on!)
45. Next thing you want to achieve in your life?
grow a garden.
46. In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
PUNK!
47. If you could “punk” any celebrity, who would it be?
probably Tom Hanks, i’d pretend we were bro’s then take him to the Zoltar machine at Michael Jackson’s Neverland ranch and get crazy, drop a confusion bomb on him.
Randy Randall of NO AGE
1. 1968 or 1981?
81 forever!!! 2/21/81
2. Why don’t you live in LA?
cuz I’m on tour all year round
3. What do your parents think you do for a living?
my mom thinks i”m a rock star. I keep telling her that I’m not
4. What’s in your pockets right now?
Sharpie, guitar picks, cell phone wallet
5. Have you ever been to Staten Island?
no
6.  If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
kill me!!!
7. If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
my cat. he deserves to take his wrath out on me for never being home.
8. So you’re on a hott date, where you going?
photo booth at the bus station downtown.
9. If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
whats better than Randy Randall???
10. Who’s better looking Mayor Dinkins or President Obama?
wait I want my porn name to be Mayor Dinks.
11. So you’re on a desert island, what now?
find a coconut to fuck
12. Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
reverse cowgirl?
13. The new Mickey Rourke, yea or neh?
I can’t watch “Randy the Ram”
15. Have you ever taken Peyote?
No!
16. Are you able to lift a 50-pound weight and carry it 100 yards?
for how much $?
17. Have you ever been arrested?
no
18. Where were you before you were born?
my dads nuts getting shot at in Vietnam.
19. Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor – patient, teacher – student?
I love beer bottle + vaseline
20. Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for?
whats the difference between a brick and a Ginger? a brick gets laid!
21. What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
i wore an arm brace to fix my dislocated shoulder
23. If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
you mean you’ve never seen tropic thunder?
24. What’s your favorite color?
brown
25. Why do people like the band Vampire Weekend?
they are like the rich dads you could fuck
26 Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
“on a lake with a bottle of jack and a saxaphone” J.D.
28 Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
max fish
29 In ten years I will…(complete the sentence)
have finished answering these questions…
30 If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
doesn’t matter, all airports look the same.
31 What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
my sense of insecurity
32 What’s your standard exercise routine?
beer lifts
33 Last time you said “that was the last time?”
staying at the SoHO grand
34. Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
I don’t know where that is
35. If you could live in any movie “world,” what movie would it be?
toon town
36. Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day?
sound checking at a venue
37. Best/worst thing you have done in a movie theater?
getting to 2nd base with my 7th grade girlfriend.
38. First career
to be Jim Varney
39. Why can’t you survive anywhere but NYC?
thats not true. I am a cockroach I could survive anywhere.
40. Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
neutral milk hotel airplane over the sea
41. Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
the brother Sam
42. If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
I wish I knew how to play guitar
43. What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
never had one: Straight A’s
44. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
pineapple and jalepeno pizza
45. Next thing you want to achieve in your life?
seeing the grand canyon
46. In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
AV nerd
47. If you could “punk” any celebrity, who would it be?
Pat O’Dell
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 at 1:05 PM
1. 1968 or 1981?
1981
2. Why don’t you live in LA?
i dont get it.
3. What do your parents think you do for a living?
make art
4. What’s in your pockets right now?
empty
5. Have you ever been to Staten Island?
yes
6.  If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
kiss me
7. If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
m not in love right now
8. So you’re on a hott date, where you going?
probably to bed
9. If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
zizi or zaza or zazi
12. Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
i have no other choice
13. The new Mickey Rourke, yea or neh?
he s ok
15. Have you ever taken Peyote?
no
17. Have you ever been arrested?
yes
18. Where were you before you were born?
dont know
19. Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor – patient, teacher – student?
no
20. Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for?
to brake
21. What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
individual
23. If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
alexis rockmann or damien loeb
24. What’s your favorite color?
red
26. Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
no plans
27. If you were stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would you want it to be? Why?
someone with good sense of humor so we can laugh about it
28. Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
home
30. If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
dubai
32. What’s your standard exercise routine?
2 times swim a week
33. Last time you said “that was the last time?”
i took my favorite sweater to a club
34. Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
oyster bar grand central
36. Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day?
my studio
38. First career plans/goals as a child?
tennis player
40. Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
white stripes elephant
41. Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
none
42. If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
be relly good at a game, like a top fencer
43. What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
no time
44. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
sushi
45. Next thing you want to achieve in your life?
to be da best in what i do
46. In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
went to theatre
Sunday, April 12, 2009 at 4:27 PM
1. 1968 or 1981?
1981
2. Why don’t you live in LA?
I learned to follow my path blindly. I am always at the right place at the right time and i am not there.
3. What do your parents think you do for a living?
They are pretty up on it they don’t need definitions but they are proud, they tell new acquaintances i am an artist.
4. What’s in your pockets right now?
A miniature plastic camel, a cut straw and a metrocard
5. Have you ever been to Staten Island?
Yes
6.  If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
FRONT
7. If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
Leonardo Di Caprio
8. So you’re on a hott date, where you going?
“Volna”, Brighton Beach
9. If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
VENEMA LANDSLIDE
10. Who’s better looking Mayor Dinkins or President Obama?
OBAMA
11. So you’re on a desert island, what now?
TAKE A NAP
12. Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
OR ELSE YOU WOULDN’T BE ASKING
13. The new Mickey Rourke, yea or neh?
NO SAY
14. Does the pressure to impress cause you to clam up– or do you have everyone at hello?
After a few minutes of butt sniffing come the hellos and success
15. Have you ever taken Peyote?
yes
16. Are you able to lift a 50-pound weight and carry it 100 yards?
probably
17. Have you ever been arrested?
no
18. Where were you before you were born?
China
19. Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor – patient, teacher – student?
No
20. Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for?
To build a house, to throw at a shop window or at the police, to sit on it, to break open almonds and walnuts.
21. What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
at school wore a uniform, blue blazer, white shirt, grey or navy blue sweater, grey pants or skirt.
after school i wore a uniform ripped blue jeans, white t-shirt and black blazer
after dark i wore a uniform a very short and very tight dress.
In all three cases i padded my bra with paper towels.
22. You meet by chance a girl friend of mine at the disco. She is very happy and she is flirting with you. What are you doing?
I play along with her, all the while taking mental notes.
23. If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
All would be made of human teeth, cavities and all and plucked bird feathers.
24. What’s your favorite color?
orange
25. Why do people like the band Vampire Weekend?
good name for a band?
26. Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
Flying on a broom
27. If you were stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would you want it to be? Why?
it would have to be with someone i have great sex with, who knew how to build a house and hunt and knew how to entertain themselves. it could be the start of a perfect society.
28. Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
Christie /Forsyth park or along the river on Manhattan’s East side close to the Brooklyn Bridge
29. In ten years I will…(complete the sentence)
Alive and Happy
30. If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
I would get on a plane headed to Tahiti, buckle my seat belt, seat back for a few minutes and then run out of the plane just before take off and come back to New York. It’s the only place i want to fly to right now.
31. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
i have faith, i am optimistic about the world at large and it’s contagious
32. What’s your standard exercise routine?
dancing by myself at home on disco, house or techno music for a couple hours 2-3 times a week
33. Last time you said “that was the last time?”
in december 2007 promised myself not to serve/cater/waitress people anymore no matter how large the pay
34. Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
steps of metropolitan museum or bench above FDR on 50th street facing the river and the pepsi cola sign.
35. If you could live in any movie “world,” what movie would it be?
“Ghostbusters”
36. Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day?
Corner of Grand and Forsyth
37. Best/worst thing you have done in a movie theater?
Brought my rabbit Gary to watch “Gimme Shelter” and fell asleep a three different occasions during the Matrix at exactly the same point in movie when he is told to follow the white rabbit tattooed on the girls back. my passing out at the movies was a constant source of argument between Dash and me.
38. First career plans/goals as a child?
wanted to be an Astronaut, always
39. Why can’t you survive anywhere but NYC?
only place that forces you to survive, kicks your ass, keeps you on your toes
40. Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
michael jackson Bad
41. Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
A-Ron
42. If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
fly a rocket to the moon
43. What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
blamed it on my parents
44. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
avocado
45. Next thing you want to achieve in your life?
go to medical school
46. In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
i don’t know a little of everything
47. If you could “punk” any celebrity, who would it be?
George Bush Junior
Monday, April 6, 2009 at 4:10 AM
2. Why don’t you live in LA?
because there going to be a big earthquake there any DAE NOW and everytime i am there i am convinced it iz when the BIG one will strike and i don’t like getting swallowed by the earth. i am very scared of the ground.
4a. What’s in your pockets right now?
the keys to ASS.
6.  If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
i could have a tattoo on mee forehead but i wouldb’t poot werds cause actions speak strongest. but symbols are just as strong. so i would tatttoo a symbol of two white circles touching. i think that will be extremely beautiful and magical on my head.
7. If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
i have a few in mind but i won’t say cause this is just gonna get out and then they gonna git excited and really want to shoot me and i don;t want to die by shotgun, i wanna die peacefully in bed going to sleep peacefully and feeling happy. please i really want to die that way.
9. If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
ton mok koh
10. Who’s better looking Mayor Dinkins or President Obama?
i am tinking hard for few minutes now. i am sorry i can’t decide, i will doo them both at same time. i have never had sex with a black guy too and i want too.
12. Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
what position, a position of lanquid melancholy? i consider that is my job, to be in that constant state. cause everyone iz born with a special state and some people never find that and i am lucky to have found mine. chance, hardwork and genetics.
15. Have you ever taken Peyote?
yes. but i prefer qualudes. though i don’t doo drugs or drink anymore.
17. Have you ever been arrested?
no and i just knocked on wood tree times i am never gonna too. being in jail freaks me out. i am not used to taking orders or restriction. i am an orderly responsible citizen of society now. i want to contribute to the good of society.
18. Where were you before you were born?
how doo you know i am buddhist? i believe in reincarnation, and before this i am pretty certain i was a chinese monk in guangzhou.
19. Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor – patient, teacher – student?
those sound like sexual games. but i have never really been into games, monopoly or doctor. i am like vanilla ice cream.
21. What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
i have never answerd so many questions before. i really like answering this questions. it feels like a kid to kid question and answer. in my mind now i am seeing you as a 11 year old but with more freckles and i am an 11 year old really nerdy chink with thick chink SPECKS and we are speaking in the cafeteria. it iz important we are 11. is 11 10th grade? cause i tink i was wearing whatever mumsies gave me. which i don’t remember quite what she poot on me. it must have been lots of sweaters cause it was cold in canada.
23. If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
it would be made of metal and shiny. but not like jeff koons. he will make life size shiny metallic figures. like realistic. that is exactly what he will make.
24. What’s your favorite color?
white. then light blue.
26. Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
i hope to be at my white ship where i am right now. i am very happy here and like to be by myself the most just sitting alone reading and tinking. i like to imagine its space outside and even if the world falls apart outside its still stars and black space outside and i am just sailing through never touched. the forcefield around my house in completely inpenetrable.
27. If you were stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would you want it to be? Why?
garrick my lover of almost ten years. cause he is my lover. my lava.
28. Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
tompkins square park. it is important that this is after a good restful night of sleep and not after an all nighter. to see the morning sunshine as it goes through the trees, dimples on the swings, drops softly on the ground.
30. If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
hawaii. picking seashells somewhere the beach has no name.
31. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
my eyebrows.
32. What’s your standard exercise routine?
i doo 33 situps every morning without fail.
33. Last time you said “that was the last time?”
and everytime is always the last time. treasure life, you only have one. reincarnation doesn’t count.
34. Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
there is nothing really above hester. sorry i am a downtown elitist.
36. Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day
at home. i don’t go out much. i am afraid of pretty much everything in public.
38. First career plans/goals as a child?
i wanted to built sets for the chinese opera. i still want to. i will.
40. Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
belle and sebastien. fox in the snow.
41. Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
rikyu.
42. If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
to be able to paint in a realist style. like photo realist style.
43. What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
same as most people. fever. but really i was masturbating a lot.
43a. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
bamboo shoots.
46. In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
classic asian loner.
47. If you could “punk” any celebrity, who would it be?
i wouldn’t punk my favorite celebrities. so it would be tom cruise. it doesn’t mean i don’t like him. he is just not my favorite celebrity. but i like him as a celebrity. i just don’t love him.
Monday, March 23, 2009 at 1:21 PM
Leonardo Aurellio Randy Fitzpatrick: Washed-up DJ/Actor
2. Why don’t you live in LA?
i dont know…sometimes i truely wish i did.
3. What do your parents think you do for a living?
actor …dj or whatever .they dont really seem to care which is cool with me.
4. What’s in your pockets right now?
house keys,atm card,a gift card for a free star bucks,american spirts and lighter.19 dollars,4.25 worth of quarters(?)2 dimes,2 peenies and a nickel.cell phone.
5. Have you ever been to Staten Island?
used to like to ride the ferry and read but dont remember if i ever made it onto the island.dont know why i would have besides going to the wu wear store.
6. If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
get r’ dun
7. If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
the guy who shot lincoln.he was an out of work actor just like me so maybe i could understand his motivation.
9. If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
phillbert
10. Who’s better looking Mayor Dinkins or President Obama?
obama dogs
12. Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
what position?missionary or doggy style?
13. The new Mickey Rourke, yea or neh?
the whole package!
15. Have you ever taken Peyote?
nope.not sure why not?you buy i’ll fly.
17. Have you ever been arrested?
yup for an old warrant.i was rideing my bike threw washington square park and got pulled over (?) they arrested me on the spot. WTF!
18. Where were you before you were born?
my dads balls.what kinda question was that?
20. Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for?
throwing threw the window of the nerds frat house?
21. What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
skater raver! ahh the good old days.
23. If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
suri cruise?
24. What’s your favorite color?
blackest black
26. Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
max fish?
28. Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
in my bed with my lady…late riser.
29. In ten years I will…(complete the sentence)
probably be dead or wishing i was.
30. If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
paris maybe.l.a. maybe lisbon.anywhere
31. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
im skinny (at times)
32. What’s your standard exercise routine?
walk from coffee shop drink that coffee than get another at the next one and smoke a cigarette and than go get pizza for breakfast.thats how i start most days.
33. Last time you said “that was the last time?”
i prefer, never again…again,got that shit tattood on my chest cause i say it so much
34. Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
never been
35. If you could live in any movie “world,” what movie would it be?
water world!
36. Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day?
max fish
37. Best/worst thing you have done in a movie theater?
snuck into the accused when i was like ten years old or something.cant play pinball ever since.
38. First career plans/goals as a child?
pro skateboarder?being dead by 18?
39. Why can’t you survive anywhere but NYC?
i would love to try.
40. Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
rubber room
41. Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
freddy herko
42. If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
being able make money better than i can spend it
43. What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
my dad beat (touched) me last night?
44. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
pizza
45. Next thing you want to achieve in your life?
make some fucking real money
46. In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
the high school jock that turned punk rock
47. If you could “punk” any celebrity, who would it be?
that one jew hater actor director
Tuesday, March 10, 2009 at 2:18 PM
Monday, March 2, 2009 at 8:19 PM
Claw is a a LES queen. ran with the dudes schooled the bitches. had enough ups to be crowned, stupid amount of snaps.
P.M.S
1. Â 1968 or 1981?
I was born in 1968, so I would have pick 1981 – the year of my bat mitzvah.
2. Â Why don’t you live in LA?
Because I have real tits and give real talk.
3. Â What do your parents think you do for a living?
My mom thinks I am a starving artist who has her own business doing something.
4. Â What’s in your pockets right now?
Lint, quarters, crumples receipts, and my trusty metrocard.
5. Â Have you ever been to Staten Island?
Yes, many, many times. My peeps used to live out there – I love the ferry and they have great italian food!
6. Â If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
EAT ME
7. Â If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
Plaxico Burress from the Giants- then I would sue his ass to poverty.
8. Â So you’re on a hott date, Â where you going?
Peter Luger, then Beatrice for drinking and dancing.
9. Â If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
Margaret Hazel Goldberg – call me Mag fo short.
10. Â Who’s better looking Mayor Dinkins or President Obama?
Dinkins is old but suave, I like them young and dumb better. Obeezy.
11. Â So you’re on a desert island, what now?
Looking for coconuts to make a bra.
12. Â Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
Who else could be Claw Money and juggle so much nonsense?
13. Â The new Mickey Rourke, yea or neh?
Me likes the 9 &1/2 weeks Mickey.
14. Â Does the pressure to impress cause you to clam up– or do you have everyone at hello?
I gots the gift of gab – but I don’t know if it impresses anyone but me.
15. Â Have you ever taken Peyote?
I took synthetic peyote- it’s called “acid” a bunch.
16. Â Are you able to lift a 50-pound weight and carry it 100 yards?
Yes but do not expect a demo.
17. Â Have you ever been arrested?
6 times. What fun. Until you have had a baloney samich with a mushy apple, you haven’t lived life.
18. Â Where were you before you were born?
Floating in heaven picking out my parents. I must have been high, because I chose wrong.
19.  Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor – patient, teacher – student?
I am more of a Monopoly and Scrabble kinda girl.
20. Â Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for?
A brick of coke? Good for maNYthings.
21. Â What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
10th grade was all about over dyed Jou Jou denims and Fiorucci.
22. Â You meet by chance a girl friend of mine at the disco. She is very happy and she is flirting with you. What are you doing?
Dancing my wild, jungle, bush moves. It is truly intoxicating to both sexes. Don’t hate the player – hate the game.
23. Â If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
Painstakingly neat and anal. I see limited use of color and very linear shapes.
24. Â What’s your favorite color?
I know this sounds so stupid – but I love all the colors of the rainbow. Today I am really into yellow.
25. Â Why do people like the band Vampire Weekend?
Who?
26 Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
The hamptons. It will be like, so empty.
27 If you were stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would you want it to be? Why?
My road dog, bff and husband Jesse, he knows how to tie boy scout knots, always has a lighter and can keep me warm at night.
28 Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
125 street (6) train station – lots of great fashion.
29 In ten years I will…(complete the sentence)
be very fat, old and hopefully rich.
30 If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
Australia -Â kangaroos, wombats and the bush!
31 What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
I crack myself up. Lots of times I tell a joke and I am the only one laughing – my humor is very complicated.
32 What’s your standard exercise routine?
Walking to the fridge, running to catch a cab and endless stair climbing from the subway.
33 Last time you said “that was the last time?”
Last night – when I ate 8 chocolate chip cookies.
34 Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
City Island
35 If you could live in any movie “world,” what movie would it be?
Liquid Sky – when that woman killed all those people by having sex with them. Fucked to death….
36 Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day?
Pick-a-bagel – I am always there.
37 Best/worst thing you have done in a movie theater?
Ate the entire tub of popcorn which I proceeded to vomit on my date. Good times.
38 First career plans/goals as a child?
I wanted to be a veterinarian because I love animals. When I heard that you had to do 4 years of college and then 10 years of medical school I quickly changed my mind to become a fashion school drop out.
39 Why can’t you survive anywhere but NYC?
I am too abrasive for anywhere else and my family, friends and bagels are here.
40 Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
For a pick me up -Â Â Big Daddy Kane – Long Live the Kane
To wallow in misery – Â Mazzy Star -So Tonight That I Might See or Joey Semz – A Great Believer
41 Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
Joan Jett was my childhood idol. I never saw such a bad ass woman before or since.
42 If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
Gymnastics and/or karate – I am such a klutz that I wish I could do a roundhouse kick and a flip before I attempt to beat your ass.
43 What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
None of them worked – I would do puppy dog eyes and hope that was effective.
44 If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Cheeseburger and fries – or is that two foods?
45 Next thing you want to achieve in your life?
Becoming a parent. Scary.
46 In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
Funky punk with r&b  and rap undertones.
47 If you could “punk” any celebrity, who would it be?
Debbie Harry – she was so hotttttttttt
48 what is aNYting to NYC?
It was a remark about our scene and our city- unity and fun.
49 first time you saw aNYthing I felt?
That I needed the “Crack is Back” tee quick.
50 your title at the aNYthing company
Obviously I would be the body guard, save all the art and brainiac stuff for the talented smarties.
Thursday, February 26, 2009 at 5:10 PM
Steve Powers is a legendary East coast hustler, a word smith , he plays a major role in the art of getting over when he was younger, now he is a father and a fine artist with a style like no other, he is very good on snapping on people and has a big hand with fingers like sausages , known for his looks with clothing and a very high flat top doo.
The 7-11 at 64th and Lebanon ave, Overbrook Philadelphia 1984,
I’m boosting mallo-cups and that’s a soft pretzel in me gob
1. Â 1968 or 1981?
1968 is my born year. I’m really proud of it, easily the darkest year in 2 decades. well, 1977 is a contender. look at video montages from the 60′s. 67 is people smiling, maybe they show that girl with the flower painted on her face and flashing a peace sign. and then 68 its all molotov cocktails, burning buildings, assasinations. 1968 babies were brought into a world that their parents thought was about to burn to the ground. Â 1981 babies are great for a similar reason. Their parents probably though they were gonna be on welfare their whole lives. Â The top 30 lists from both 1968 and 1981 look like this:
1968
1. Hey Jude, The Beatles
2. Honey, Bobby Goldsboro
3. Love Is Blue, Paul Mauriat
4. (Sittin’ On) The Dock Of The Bay, Otis Redding
5. People Got To Be Free, Rascals
6. Sunshine Of Your Love, Cream
7. This Guy’s In Love With You, Herb Alpert
8. Stoned Soul Picnic, Fifth Dimension
9. Mrs. Robinson, Simon and Garfunkel
10. Tighten Up, Archie Bell and The Drells
11. The Good, The Bad And The Ugly, Hugo Montenegro
12. Little Green Apples, O.C. Smith
13. Mony, Mony, Tommy James and The Shondells
14. Hello, I Love You, The Doors
15. Young Girl, Gary Puckett and The Union Gap
16. Cry Like A Baby, Box Tops
17. Harper Valley P.T.A., Jeannie C. Riley
18. Grazing In The Grass, Hugh Masekela
19. Midnight Confessions, The Grass Roots
20. Dance To The Music, Sly and The Family Stone
21. The Horse, Cliff Nobles and Co.
22. I Wish It Would Rain, Temptations
23. La-La Means I Love You, Delfonics
24. Turn Around, Look At Me, Vogues
25. Judy In Disguise (With Glasses), John Fred and His Playboy Band
26. Spooky, Classics IV
27. Love Child, Diana Ross and The Supremes
28. Angel Of The Morning, Merrilee Rush
29. The Ballad Of Bonnie And Clyde, Georgie Fame
30. Those Were The Days, Mary Hopkin
now, 1981
1. Bette Davis Eyes, Kim Carnes
2. Endless Love, Diana Ross and Lionel Richie
3. Lady, Kenny Rogers
4. (Just Like) Starting Over, John Lennon
5. Jessie’s Girl, Rick Springfield
6. Celebration, Kool and The Gang
7. Kiss On My List, Daryl Hall and John Oates
8. I Love A Rainy Night, Eddie Rabbitt
9. 9 To 5, Dolly Parton
10. Keep On Loving You, REO Speedwagon
11. Theme From “Greatest American Hero”, Joey Scarbury
12. Morning Train (Nine To Five), Sheena Easton
13. Being With You, Smokey Robinson
14. Queen Of Hearts, Juice Newton
15. Rapture, Blondie
16. A Woman Needs Love, Ray Parker Jr. and Raydio
17. The Tide Is High, Blondie
18. Just The Two Of Us, Grover Washington Jr.
19. Slow Hand, Pointer Sisters
20. I Love You, Climax Blues Band
21. Woman, John Lennon
22. Sukiyaki, A Taste Of Honey
23. The Winner Takes It All, Abba
24. Medley, Stars On 45
25. Angel Of The Morning, Juice Newton
26. Love On The Rocks, Neil Diamond
27. Every Woman In The World, Air Supply
28. The One That You Love, Air Supply
29. Guilty, Barbra Streisand and Barry Gibb
30. The Best Of Times, Styx
In this light 1981 is looking kinda ass. weird that “angel of the morning” is on both charts, nearly at the same slot- hmmmm.
2. Â Why don’t you live in LA?
First of all, I want to express genuine appreciation for the genuine people of LA. I can probably fit them all in the Roxy in lay-z-boy recliners and still have room for waitresses on track bikes delivering them smoothies. They will be my guests for the Genuine Festival, featuring every good band that came out of LA (including Orange and Riverside counties) The band line up that would play in alphabetical order:
Ariel Pink
Adolescents, The
Agent Orange
Bad Religion
Bags, The
BARR
Beach Boys, The
Black Flag
Bread
Buffalo Springfield
Byrds, The
Channel 3
Descendents
Dickies, The
Dils, The
Doors, The
Fear
Fishbone
Frank Zappa and The Mothers Of Invention
Germs
Guns N’ Roses
Ice T (strictly first record)
Jane’s Addiction
L7
Lobos, Los
los Illegals
Love
Mars Volta, The
Metallica
Minutemen
NO Age
N.W.A.
Ozomatli
Plugz, The
Saccharine Trust
Screamers, The
Slayer
Snoop Dogg
Social Distortion
Sublime
Suicidal Tendencies
Tool
TSOL
Van Halen
Vandals, The
Voodoo Glow Skulls
War
Wasted Youth
Weezer
Weirdos, The
X
Youth Brigade
Zeros, The
I would also let Cypress Hill play if they just did their first record (Muggs is on my list of genuine people, so it’s his call), and Ice T is in the genuine category, but if he wants to perform he’s gotta wear that shit he wore in Breakin’ and he can only do “6 In Tha Mornin’” and Hole can play if courtney confesses to killing kurt. Thats every good band in LA, and I’m giving some of them the benefit of the doubt. Half of the best bands contain dead frontmen, but without them, this show is gonna be over in a week. In 50 years, thats all you got LA? I Blame it on the sun.
3. Â What do your parents think you do for a living?
my mom is a retired school teacher, she would tell her kids in the last couple years she was teaching (in a defeated tone) “don’t listen to me-my son never did and he turned out great.” when I was a kid and she knew I was fucking up she’d say “tell me what you did today?” and when I said anything except the truth she’d say “try again” and this would go on until I told on myself. Last year I won a pew grant (Philly based non-profit org that gives out prestige and paper) and I forgot to tell my mom. She called me up like I was in trouble, “tell me about the pew grant” I feigned ignorance, she said “try again”. we both busted out laughing.
4. Â What’s in your pockets right now?
atm card, metro card with $13.03 on it (that new bonus system make it so you can’t zero out, really the most bullshit tactic by the most bullshit TA in america, including St. Louis, where they just shut down half their bus lines. Though I am down for the kids on canal street scooping up discarded metro cards to get the balances) Hercules Laundry card with 20.00 on it (Laundry in the building, I feel blessed). 342 dollars cash (I hit the atm for 200 yesterday. forgot and hit another one an hour later for 200. and I was sober.) My 2 year old just walked in with my blackberry, mashing the buttons like he’s texting, so now thats in the pocket too.
5. Â Have you ever been to Staten Island?
Bunch of times. I used to troop out to the wu store to drop off On The Go’s in the 90′s. I knew they would never pay for them, but they had a desirable demographic. I painted one gate out there in 1999. I wanted something by stapleton houses, where wu tang is from, but they didnt have any good gates out there, so I painted a gate in front of the police academy by the terminal. some of the cadets asked if I had permission, but my g was so strong that they helped me fill in. no pause.
6. Â If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
probably a 5. people been calling me 5 head forever.
7. Â If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
Stevie Wonder.
8. Â So you’re on a hott date, Â where you going?
La Cirque. Get a couple of the nice embroidred washcloths from the bathroom, you’ll need them. Then we take the bus home.
9. Â If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
My older brother asked me this when I was 10-11 years old. I thought about it for awhile and answered “Jack Of Spades” (real talk). He laughed me out of the room, what a sucker. I’m still one guy who hasn’t been paid.
10. Â Who’s better looking Mayor Dinkins or President Obama?
I havent seen dinkins in a speedo, so I’m gonna say barack
11. Â So you’re on a desert island, what now?
I carve a blackberry out of a cocoanut and start texting
12. Â Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
I showed up early with my pencils sharpened
13. Â The new Mickey Rourke, yea or neh?
definitely meh.
14. Â Does the pressure to impress cause you to clam up– or do you have everyone at hello?
I even have Lionel Richie at hello.
15. Â Have you ever taken Peyote?
no, thats a real perishable fruit, like khat, and Philly wasn’t on the distribution route.  maybe when a whole drugs opens in the  west ville, I’ll try both at once, then put on an 8 ball straight jacket.
16. Â Are you able to lift a 50-pound weight and carry it 100 yards?
yeah, thats a 5 gallon paint bucket or a box of the finest independent graffiti rap magazine, On The Go. sometimes I’d have to carry both up all 360 steps of the Temple Of Hip Hop. (I was a double major).
17. Â Have you ever been arrested?
4 times. If cops weren’t liars it would’ve been the one time I was tripping and arguing with a cop in south philly until he got so flustered and tongue-tied he ordered me arrested. it said on the arrest report I was using profound language. Guilty as charged.
18. Â Where were you before you were born?
chilling near an ice-cream filled upper intestine
19.  Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor– patient, teacher –student?
what about Bert and Ernie or Wendy and Lisa? I’m more down for colleague and trusted peer.
20. Â Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for?
bricks are for laying.
21. Â What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
I was in a catholic school uniform and hunting down the ugliest ties I could find in order to defy the dress code the best I could. I had one monstrosity with tennis racquets on it that won ugly tie contests in 2 different catholic schools. It would’ve won at West Catholic except they felt bad for some kid that was dying of cancer.
22. Â You meet by chance a girl friend of mine at the disco. She is very happy and she is flirting with you. What are you doing?
Im being a gentleman and being loyal to my friend, while gathering material for the stroke file.
23. Â If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
hopefully paintings of the volcano on the cover of the dianetics book. maybe he’s a performance artist that puts a giant couch at 76 grand and jumps up and down on it for 30 days.
24. Â What’s your favorite color?
black one shot on aluminum. if its applied right you can shave looking at it.
25. Â Why do people like the band Vampire Weekend?
I was at nobu and they were playing that shit. I was criticizing something on the menu, and the waiter got pissed and said “thats a very popular dish.” I said, “Oh yeah, like this music, huh?” My girl laughed and the waiter dried up and floated away like a piece of seaweed. Oh,  the  question? right. people are fucking morons.
26 Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
hopefully on a horse called war.
27. If you were stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would you want it to be? Why?
Charles Darwin. he’d make the most of it. or shaun ryder, he’d make the best of it too.
28. Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
just walking around is the best, especially when I can take my time and really look around. New York looks best overcast. If Its raining I love being in the back of a cab, stuck in traffic, with a cel phone jammer to screw up the driver’s phone calls.
29. In ten years I will…(complete the sentence)
be telling Larry Gogasian to hurry up with my bags. I’ve won the  Venice Bienniale golden Lion and he’s making me late for the ceremony. Jeffrey Deitch is flicking him in the ear.
30. If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
mumbai. go chill in the slum that slumdog millionaire was filmed in
31 What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
my hands. I earned these sausage patties and these sausage fingers. they’re good slappers for sure.
32. What’s your standard exercise routine?
walking, lifting 24 oz weights.
33 . Last time you said “that was the last time?”
2 nights ago. I decided to stop drinking. I said “2/8 is not too late”.
34 .Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
Cloisters. really nice.
35. If you could live in any movie “world,” what movie would it be?
Im cool right here, thanks. but I had a good time living through rocky 1 through V
36. Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day?
w.10th street, beercan on the stroller passing by the precinct
37. Best/worst thing you have done in a movie theater?
I love yelling snaps at the trailers. I treat the movies as sacred unless its real trash. In Ireland they loved that shit, like nobody ever thought to do it. I had people coming up to me after the movie saying “nice one”.
38. First career plans/goals as a child?
I was always going to be an artist, from like 3. I still cling to an aspiration to have a #1 pop single. even a novelty song is fine, and probably my best chance.
39 .Why can’t you survive anywhere but NYC?
You can get snapped on brutally by anybody here, I’ve gotten murdered by old ladies here. (Some 60-something bensonhurst irish woman on the R train looking at me and talking to her friend, “you seen eraserhead?”) I love that everybody’s game is so developed. I go anywhere else and it’s like I’m picking on special ed kids.
40. Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
nothing like some joy division to make you glad to be you.
41. Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
William Blake is cool. Jesus is good too. But really, John Coltrane, flaws and all, is my man. Im his age when he passed. He wrote love supreme. I wrote superfeen.
42. If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
sing in key
43. What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
When MOVE jumped off for the 2nd time in Philly (google MOVE philadelphia), it wasn’t too far from my house. I stayed out of school for 2 days and said my homework got burned. I even burned my algebra book halfway as a sight gag. my mom was a math teacher and she had the teachers edition, so I had the back up. I still failed.
44. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
ripe avacados
45. Next thing you want to achieve in your life?
I’ll tell you after I do it.
46. In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
I was class clown. so all the above were fair targets
47. If you could “punk” any celebrity, who would it be?
Last year I was showing at Art Basel in Miami and Pharrell walked in. I said to my co-workers “Hey guys look it’s Pharrell” He got so pissed he asked for a price list and when it was brought to him he said “no I dont want anything”. Thats not much of a punk, but it was a great way to fuck up a sale.
48. what is aNYthing to NYC?
the last schmatte hope.
Monday, February 23, 2009 at 2:21 PM
Ben Jones is a art school hero, a total weirdo and 80′s pop reference affected kid. It translates in his craftsmanship.
check out his show at Deitch Projects NYC.
80′s Thrasher
My first BMX
1. 1968 or 1981?
68
2. Why don’t you live in LA?
I’d be too successful there, it would be too easy.
3. What do your parents think you do for a living?
I tell them I am temp.
4. What’s in your pockets right now?
black wayfarer 11′s from like 82 that Rapheal gave me, wallet, iphone.
5. Have you ever been to Staten Island?
The only time I’ve been to staten island, I drove through it with Jess from paper rad,
we had just met up with MIA and UK fashion genius CassettePlaya in Brooklyn and
had to drive to miami with a car load full of cardboard and drums to play a show with BARR
at a party of some dudes, I can’t remember whose party that was though…anyway, if you drive
from brooklyn to miami, you pass through staten island,
6. If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
fuck
7. If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
joe grillo from dearraindrop
8. So you’re on a hott date, where you going?
A historically accurate recreation of a celibate shaker village from the 1700′s set in the rolling
foothills in the berkshires.
9. If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
Hawk
10. Who’s better looking Mayor Dinkins or President Obama?
Dinkins
11. So you’re on a desert island, what now?
meditate
12. Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
I am a very hard worker, I have a flexible schedule, a good sense of ethics and motivation, and its always been my dream to be
a temp.
13. The new Mickey Rourke, yea or neh?
havn’t seen either
14. Does the pressure to impress cause you to clam up– or do you have everyone at hello?
if by clam you mean prematurely ejaculate, then yes
15. Have you ever taken Peyote?
no
16. Are you able to lift a 50-pound weight and carry it 100 yards?
yes
17. Have you ever been arrested?
no
18. Where were you before you were born?
In starchild land, looking for a spirit guide to take me to the mom I wanted.
19. Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor – patient, teacher – student?
I usually just fast forward to the money shot.
20. Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for?
Building, structures, heat retention, not got for earthquake…oh wait you wanted a cool answer tagg-times up.
21. What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
What the fuck is that, fucking make this shit easier, I hate converting grades numbers to their fucking names, 10th? what you want me to count backwards from 12th? is senior 12th? I forget what fucking end grade is, shit, okay, 8th is the end of fucking middle school, so lets see, 9 is freshman, 10 is sophmore, you want to know what I fucking dressed like as a sophmore, that is the fucking most cold hearted question I have ever read, that is fucked up, man, I know I had a fucking led zeppelin tshirt, are you happy now everybody, fuck this shit (I had a rough time in highschool sorry)
22. You meet by chance a girl friend of mine at the disco. She is very happy and she is flirting with you. What are you doing?
Is this a test, I fuck her right, wait no, wait, thats not what you wanted me to do, shit, did I fail the test, okay?
23. If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
Okay, start with OF COURSE a 9 foot mirror ball, wait, OF COURSE we are talking 8 x 13 foot really really tight ass ugly dry streaky acrylic realistic “main street america” style painting, okay sorry, so, huge mirror ball with the reflection not reflecting the viewers source, meaning we don’t see the camera, or painter, BUT IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY you do see the artist, who is capturing the image of the mirror ball in his memory (for us to transmute) is hiding in the window of a tiny italian clay villa, oh did I mention the ball is in the square of an idealistic Mediterranean town, anyway, the thing is OBVIOUSLY the sky has a green vortex in it, and the poorly shaded lime tinged clouds are whirling into its epicenter, but what I didn’t tell you is the artist that is looking into the mirror ball is 1/2 alien split down the middle, and he is winking at us the viewers, and the alien 1/2 of his dick has spikes cause tom cruise has weird sex issues I bet
24. What’s your favorite color?
yellow
25. Why do people like the band Vampire Weekend?
they fear life and reality and being human so they just want to fit into a broader/or specific segment of society that excepts them so that they
feel a false sense of security and meaning to life
26. Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
on my 84 schwinn thrasher
27. If you were stranded on a deserted island with one other person, who would you want it to be? Why?
an indian guru to help me meditate
28. Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
Houston St. Whole Foods bathrooms
29. In ten years I will…(complete the sentence)
have a cool dog
30. If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
athens greece
31. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
probably my face or my calfs
32. What’s your standard exercise routine?
jog at night
33. Last time you said “that was the last time?”
every time is the last time for me
34. Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
the Whole Foods on 23rd
35. If you could live in any movie “world,” what movie would it be?
roger rabbit
36. Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day?
whole foods or “whole body” the whole foods store next to whole foods
37. Best/worst thing you have done in a movie theater?
shown my movies
38. First career plans/goals as a child?
like every child, space camp, then airforce then 5th member of U2 as the onstage skateboarder/drummer
39 .Why can’t you survive anywhere but NYC?
i really do love new york and the communities I am lucky enough to be able to be a part of,
I don’t live in new york cause I am fucking retard
40. Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
bootleg Howard Stern satellite show
41. Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
Steve Jobs
42. If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
just overall better at everything
43. What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
“I forgot, sorry” probably
44. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
vegan shepards pie
45. Next thing you want to achieve in your life?
clean up apartment
46. In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
the worst…….av nerd
47. If you could “punk” any celebrity, who would it be?
I would walk right up to “the dog whisperer” or “dog the bounty hunter” and just bark in their face and
be like “how do you like that bitch?” “you WERE ALWAYS a dog, you know that” then they would run to their car and I would have
graffittied it with a crazy wrap around tv cartoon”Family Guy” orgy piece where each letter is a member of the family but
they are all-fing themselves, actually that sounds mean, instead of “punk’d” I would start a show where
I just help normal people move or help with poor people with money issues or something then invite seth green on and he’d be like,
“I’m not a normal person, I was on punk’d!!!” that would probably be a good punk in the end.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009 at 12:27 PM
Here is Gavin McInnes the loser behind a lot of garbage downtown.
stale comedy, hipster website, and a bad 80′s bar mitzvah cover band.
streetbonersandtvcarnage.com
This is him in the 10th grade.
1. 1968 or 1981?
1981 because that’s when punk started to get fun.
2. Why don’t you live in LA?
Clueless, corny, stupid, losers in cars and a relentless sun up your ass all day.
3. What do your parents think you do for a living?
Fuck around
4. What’s in your pockets right now?
Adderall
5. Have you ever been to Staten Island?
Yes. We snuck on to the ferry and hid there so we could get a ride back for free. The guy eventually caught us and explained that the ferry is already free you fucking idiots. Oooops. True story.
6. If you had to get a tattoo with words on your forehead what would you get?
Made in England
7. If someone shot you who would you want the shooter to be?
I’d want it to be someone from outer space because it would raise awareness about that and hopefully show people they are not friendly and do not come here in peace.
8. So you’re on a hott date, where you going?
Down on her
9. If you got to pick your name what would you choose?
Barack Hussein Obama
10. Who’s better looking Mayor Dinkins or President Obama?
My namesake
11. So you’re on a desert island, what now?
Die of starvation and infections from sunburns
12. Why do you think you’re qualified for this position?
Everyone knows how to do doggy. It’s in our DNA.
13. The new Mickey Rourke, yea or neh?
I can’t believe you can’t spell “nay.”
15. Have you ever taken Peyote?
Yeah, my wife’s a squaw and she can carry it anywhere she wants, even on a plane. My dad bet me $100 that’s not true because you can’t have one race that has different laws than another race but it is true which I agree is weird.
16. Are you able to lift a 50-pound weight and carry it 100 yards?
Have you seen my cock?
17. Have you ever been arrested?
Drunk driving at 16 and assault a few years ago. Oh no, that wasn’t an actual arrest because the guy got the day wrong and they had to let me go.
18. Where were you before you were born?
In a really bad place.
19. Do you like love games like master – slave, doctor – patient, teacher – student?
Is rape a game?
20. Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for?
According to Pete Towshend, it is helpful in determining what makes a man. For example, if a guy isn’t afraid of appearing insane because he can’t break one, he’s a man. That’s what a fag Pete Towshend is.
21. What did you dress like in the tenth grade?
GBH
23. If Tom Cruise made art what would it look like?
Paul Stanley’s paintings.
24. What’s your favorite color?
I’m beyond race.
25. Why do people like the band Vampire Weekend?
Because they come across as aristocrats and everyone wants to be rich.
26. Where do you plan on riding out the apocalypse?
On horseback.
28. Where is your favorite place in New York City to hang out at in the morning?
I love watching the sun come up over the cloisters while getting a blow job and jogging.
29. In ten years I will…(complete the sentence)
Be done this fucking thing. What is this anyway? What’s it for, your “glob”? What are you a 10 year-old girl passing notes in high school. I guess I’m just as queer for doing it but you let me put that shit up about aNYthing so I figure it’s payback.
30. If you could get on a plane tomorrow and travel to anywhere in the world, where would you go?
To Africa to meet my real parents.
31. What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
My ability to work with animals.
32. What’s your standard exercise routine?
Fucking a prostitute in the ass when she’s fucked up on meth with a ball gag in her mouth.
33. Last time you said “that was the last time?”
Beating off to pictures of Saddam Hussein.
34. Where’s your favorite place in NYC above 14th street?
Never been. Oh wait, the cloisters is up there isn’t it. Shit.
35. If you could live in any movie “world,” what movie would it be?
With Kevin Costner on a Jet Ski.
36. Place in New York City where you would mostly likely be found at any random point during the day?
Volunteering on Bowery. Washing the homeless and buying them cigarettes.
37. Best/worst thing you have done in a movie theater?
Killed a lion.
38. First career plans/goals as a child?
To work in the administration of American Airline’s Integrated Aircraft Navigation business liasons department.
39. Why can’t you survive anywhere but NYC?
Nobody gets my GG Allin jokes.
40. Go to song (or album) when you are feeling down?
“Don’t Kill Yourself” by The Kinks
41. Who is your ultimate hero or role model?
Pol Pot
42. If you could have any talent or skill, what would it be?
To be smart and good-looking
43. What was your best excuse when you didn’t do your homework?
My dad fucked me
44. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Pussy
45. Next thing you want to achieve in your life?
Hitting “send” and being done with this
46. In high-school, were you a jock, punk, theater geek, or prep?
Anarcho punk
47. If you could “punk” any celebrity, who would it be?
I’d like to see Ashton Kutcher with a mohawk.
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